The highs and the lows

I was thoroughly thrilled to find out that my latest Caribbean dude won his appeal. When I first got the lead to follow up on it, I thought it was gonna be one of those time wasters' case. Then I spoke to the partner who seemed genuinely upset on the phone and okay with fees. Then I struggled to find out the procedures, the story and directions to the detentions centre (or so called Immigration Removal Centre with super dooper security like multiple security screening (frisking) and fingerprint scans).

Never had an asylum interview unnerved me that much, with the vague answers and an issue from the previous interview record that I (arguably) should have spotted. Such dig-your-own-grave performance that I now know I can't blame him for.

Weeks leading up to Christmas stressing over getting evidence together with a bunch of bureaucratic barriers, and having to shout down the phone at a nurse to get what I wanted. All of this probably comes down to a lack of experience.

The (fairly) junior barrister had high praise which I am pleased about. Of course he needs to suck up to his paymaster, no doubt about that. But none of the other barristers has ever said that. Well also, he was speaking to a consultant who tends to be experienced, without realising the work behind the scene.

Just over a year ago, I was astounded by the level of responsibility that I was given. I never thought it was because I was special or particularly bright. Alarm bells were ringing because I thought it was irresponsible for such matters to be delegated to me. It seemed to me it was more to do with cheap labour.

Three offices and two new bosses later (over the last 3 months), my work is once again being amended and approved somewhat properly (albeit with some schizophrenic variation). This smaller environment compared to the last is much more peaceful, slightly more trusting and less "you gotta cover your back (even among your colleagues and your seniors!)". And you wonder why law firms are so big on teamwork: it's because they realise that their culture is the exact opposite, regardless of how they promote/market themselves to be.

I used to think kiss-ass staff are bloody annoying and I despise them for their tendency to (attempt to) step all over you to get ahead (or at the very least to cover their own backside). It's one thing to be competitive, but another to lack human decency especially when most people who do that have nothing else to show for save for the mini skirts and three-inch makeup.

Now I see it a little differently: it's all about surviving and reducing the number of times you get shouted at (or reduced to a tiny, tiny, insignificant and easily replaceable person). Slow and lacking insight? Sure. It's a blessing and a curse that my previous supervisors to date (save for the ones at my first couple of bar jobs) saw me as someone who was committed, responsible, not too dumb and has integrity.

But none of these things matters. It's all about catching up to bosses; schizophrenic patterns and ride the waves when you can spot them.

Humans are innately evil, selfish, greedy and revengeful morons. If I had to put up with that shit, then I'll make sure that you do. Anyone who believes otherwise is a moron.